Love at time of dumbasses

Harsh. But true.

So…i these days i:

  • got offered to be paid a taxi to reach a fuckboy
  • found an unwanted dickpick in my DM, sent by a total stranger who told me “i love you”

What else? I know im forgetting something…..

  • oh yeah! The tinder guy that said “i am looking for fun in order to have a long lasting relationship”.

I am staring from this cos is way too hilarious!!! Men really DO think women are dumb, my god! My answer was: “ehmm…i tell u a secret: avoid telling girls you are looking for fun leading for a relationship, that’s a big bullshit and we aint that stupid”. Apparently this was enough to bring him on the straight way, starting being real.

Eventually we also started chatting and having a good conversation.

Let’s switch to the dickpick guy, he’s a random guy who started texting me in Instagram, eventually the only words he knows where “babe, send me a pic, i love you, send me a pic….” and so on. I tried to have a real conversation with him, but I gave up after, as i said, i got the dickpick. I blocked him…pity, he was hot af….but no thanks. Brainless m-itch XD

  • Answer to this: why the fuck you guys are so dumb? I mean, just be real, you have more chances having a good fuck with an interesting person rather than with a hopeless (possibly underage) bitch….But nope….lets act dumb. Why???

Let’s switch to the “fuckboy”. The Man. The one i unfortunately fell for, but with whom i would never have a relationship.

There are some limits to put. Its ok to have fun, till u respect the other person. Texting at 8pm asking me to come to your place, and telling me “i would pay for the taxi” it’s a NO-NO. I aint your bitch, first. And i aint a second wheel.

Cmon…If u text me at the last moment, my first thought is: “the other bitch dumped him”. Man go and look for another fool. So i texted him, telling him my thought about this behavior, and he, obviously, ghosted. I haven’t been crazy, just very quietly told him that i don’t like that cos it is disrespectful.

Now…i would never have done this some months ago. Simply because when we are together he is sweet and shows emotion and…cmon i see his eyes, i know there’s something. But he don’t wanna give more than that…so, as i had nothing but him, i wasn’t really standing for myself. My thought was: “what if i tell him this and this, an then he ghosts? Who will give me those little things?”

The issue here is that those things are LITTLE. Is not what i want. Is not what i deserve. I was just trying to make myself complete with an uncompleted situation. I still love him. Obviously. But now, i am no more afraid to lose him.

A good friend told me: in the moment you say yes, but you wish it is a no, that is the point you gotta cut it. And the same applies with sharing thoughts. The moment you wont say something, because you are afraid to lose someone, is the point you have to cut it.

We must feel free to act and say what we really want. So, my dear, even if a love you, i am done. When and if you will be back to me, you will see a new Chris. I am not here to kneel over people. I am not here to be tamed nor to be disrespected.

I am here for an higher purpose, and it is time to start.

 

 

Snapping

Among all the other things, what really “grind my gears” are 2 things:

  • stupidity
  • careless

Now, let’s talk about this guy: met in Badoo, started chatting very well, positive, fluent….we get to Whatsapp, he keeps my interest up, clever, down to books, many subject to talk about, very sharp.

We met.

I knew he was not 100% my type, but you know, sometimes you chat because you find someone interesting.

The morning after he asks me what i think about him. I got real. Told him that there were no sparkles and no sexual attraction but intellectual.

He changes – from a day to another – and he told me, literally: “Well we can go out again had have some drunk sex”.

Eventually, nowadays, if you are rejected, you can snap out of it and be a dick, out of the blue……

Anyway…I’m soon turning 33 (i know i said i’m already 33, was just smoothing out). I am organizing a bday party because – cmon! – the age of Christ must be celebrated :D!

As i wish to see my BEST people, i started already to send invitation – 40 ish – but i expect possibly 15 of them – the closer to me. In all this, some did not replied at all, some told me it’s too soon to ask, some were just “dicking” around.

BITCH! 1) I exactly ask it soon so that you can get organised to be there! 2) if i invited you means i kinda “like” you, not replying or “dicking” around is the equivalent to tell me; “Chris erase me from your life”. No worries, i’ll do so.

Now……please tell me it’s just me. Tell me i’m over reacting. Because i’m seriously starting to be really pissed off by all those rabble. And you know what? I don’t even have the patience anymore to look after those people. Even if i care, at some point i gotta let go. Fuck that shit.

And, in all this:

  • i ain’t having good sex since 10 days (welcome to the single world)
  • my sex buddy (whom i’m almost in love with) is who the fuck knows where
  • i don’t even feel like looking for a guy in a chat after the Badoo man
  • i bumped in my ex-ex-ex brother (many exs i know) in tinder, i wanted to place a like but, i still have a dignity…but he’s daaaamn hot
  • there are few new hot guys at my job place
  • and today was raining like crazy, arrived at work late and drenched, worked as a bitch and finally got home…drenched.

But i’m happy. I truly am.

I’m cynical and sarcastic most of the time, but i do see the bright side of life, i do thanks every morning for what i got, i do have hope, i am positive and attracting good vibes, i meditate and so on.

Mostly, those chat with my dear “universe” are what makes my days great. My friends, on the other hand, are the one that make my days unique…..and HE, HE is the one i love, hoping he will open is hart to me, in this life or another.

 

Welcome to me :)

“They” say: the best time of a woman comes after her 30s.

Jeez, this is so true! I’m 33 – 30ish – and, honestly, the more i get older, the more i agree with that sentence.

I’m living in a foreign country, my family is back in – my gorgeous – Italy, i’m single, no kids, a blooming career: essentially no bullshit.

Yes, 33 single and, so far, happy.

Heads in the cloud. Lone traveler. Still carrying the “inner child”….and in aaaaaalllll this, i don’t even have the time to write, but still, i need it.

This is me.

Well i didn’t really introduced myself. But fuck it. Oh yeah, i swear. A lot.